Return
by gomenasai-for-everything
Summary: Hollander's men are dying and Dan is being blamed. Ben Wade returns with nothing but a smile and a proverb, as if he and Dan had never been apart and he'd never killed a handful of men for seemingly no reason at all. Dan isn't sure what he should do despite knowing what's right; Ben is certain that he'll run away with him.
1. Chapter 1

Dan watched the sunrise over his land, old wounds aching as the clouds rolled in from somewhere far away. There was another storm blowing in, he guessed. The air felt heavy all around him and the distant, rolling thunder made the silence in the house behind him more stifling than usual. Life had changed a lot since his trip to Contention with Ben Wade, and in some ways Dan wasn't sure if the changes were for the better or not. Hollander didn't bother him overmuch anymore, at least not directly, but every now and then his boys still tried to cause trouble. Mostly it was simple things, feed getting stolen or fence wire getting cut, and he knew he couldn't prove what had happened, so he didn't really bother with it.

On that, he couldn't complain, really; the ranch was doing well enough that he could afford to replace those things simply enough. He was the only one on the ranch anymore, though, the only one it mattered to, and that was a damn lonely feeling. He didn't blame Alice for leaving, really, for taking the boys to a place where they could have a better life, get a good education and all. Alice had never wanted the life she'd had to have with him and she deserved to be happy. Besides, he still took the train out to San Francisco to see the boys every now and then, and they worried over him less now that he'd gotten a ranch hand to help him do the more strenuous work.

He'd healed well enough too, better than he could've hoped for given the injuries he'd suffered, and his family was safe and happy where they were and his ranch was alive and he supposed he really couldn't dream of having much else.

Thinking that didn't make the tension in the air lessen any, though. It felt like the silence before a gun went off and his neck itched like somebody was watching him. His ranch hand was gone for the night and he half-wished he could call him back just because the evening was so unnerving.

Dan disliked remembering Wade, and normally, he didn't, or at least he could distract himself with other thoughts when he came up, but just then, even the black of the oncoming clouds reminded Dan of him. Were he tired enough, he might've been able to convince himself that Ben was riding over the hill on that black mare of his, dressed like death. He frowned, shaking his head and stepping back into the dark house. Ben Wade was dead, or at least gone, and even if he weren't, he wouldn't have much need to come after Dan.

The thunder roared closer, and a viper's voice in the back of his mind whispered that it sounded like God's vengeance. He lay down without bothering to change, or even take his boot off; something about that night, he wanted to be ready to run if he needed to. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, but after a while he squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to fall asleep. When he woke the next morning, storm over and nervous tension gone, he felt right silly, chuckled at himself, and changed his clothes, Wade once again shoved far to the back of his mind.

* * *

His ranch hand, John, was working in the kitchen when he stepped out, and despite greeting him pleasantly enough, he still sounded annoyed.

"Hollander's boys come by again last night?" Dan asked, and John nodded.

"Looks like. Four feed bags gone and two saddles cut about to bits. I'm worried about you staying here alone every night. No telling what they'll do once they get bored of just vandalizing things." Must've been them that'd given Dan that chilled feeling the night before, he guessed, and he wondered when something like that could ever start feeling reassuring.

"You ain't gotta worry over that. I keep the gun by my bed, and that door creaks so bad nobody could come in without me knowing about it." John didn't really look comforted by that, but chances were he'd argued with Dan enough that he knew well enough that there wasn't much point in it. Besides, John was a young man, here looking for a future now that the railroad was coming and rain was falling, and the last thing he needed was to get saddled with Dan more than he already was.

"I'll get started on everything here if you wanna ride out to town to replace the feed and buy a couple new saddles. Might try and fix it so it's harder to get into that barn." Dan hummed, and John settled a full plate in front of him even though he knew that Dan had long ago gotten out of the habit of eating big meals. Still, he ate as much as he could before he left for town, and he figured John appreciated that at least, since Dan knew from Alice how much trouble cooking could be, especially if nobody wanted to eat.

He regretted it some when he got to town though; the marshal found him just about as soon as he rode in and led him quietly to his office. Most everyone looked drawn and concerned, and when Dan asked what was going on, the marshal only asked that he wait. Dan felt the tension from the night before seep back into his body, and he knew something had happened, something serious, and it obviously involved him. Wade crept back into his mind like a shadow, quick hand settled on the butt of the Hand of God like it'd never been anywhere else. Could he have slipped the noose again? He had said that he'd been to Yuma twice before, and Dan didn't doubt that that was true.

The marshal let him tie his horse outside, then hurried him inside and closed the door behind him. He sat quietly, hands clasped on his desk, and waited for Dan to sit in front of him before he started talking.

"There's been a killing, real messy business. Found one of Hollander's boys, Carson Williams, out in Hollander's field this morning with a bullet in his head. Now, Dan, I like you, you know that, but your feud with Hollander and the men that work for him ain't exactly secret, and he was right on your property line." Dan was man enough to admit that he was dumbstruck, and it took him a while before he was able to say anything.

"I been at the ranch every day for the last week; only left today to get new feed and a saddle. I won't lie and say I liked the boy, but not liking him don't mean I killed him." The marshal didn't respond for a bit, but finally he sighed and nodded.

"I know that. Still, I had to ask; you know how it is, Dan. Ain't like there's any shortage of folk that might've had it in for him, seeing as how he was a gambler. Only thing is, he ain't the only one that's turned up dead. We've been finding somebody every couple of days, and all of 'em worked for Hollander. You're about the only one that anyone can think of who's got that much cause to be angry with Hollander, and the man himself is near enough to in hiding and swearing up and down it's got to be you." Dan shook his head, frowning hard and trying to think of anyone else that might've had cause to do such a thing. He couldn't think of a soul.

"Like I said, I haven't left the ranch. You can ask my hand if you like; he can at least tell you I been there as long as there was daylight." The marshal shook his head.

"You ain't gotta convince me, Dan. I don't think you did it; anyone that's known you any length of time knows you ain't got the stomach for killing like that. Hollander ain't gonna accept that, though. I'm real sorry to have to do it to you, but I gotta keep you here a few days, at least until there's another killing. That way at least he'll know it ain't you and we can try and find the one actually doing it." Dan stared, struck dumb once again, and for a second he thought of laughing until he saw that the marshal wasn't at all kidding.

"I need to let John know. He'll get worried if I don't make it back. Need feed at the ranch too." The marshal nodded.

"I'll send someone up to tell him. I'll even buy that feed myself, for your trouble." Dan crossed his arms and wondered how in hell his life always seemed to get turned so upside down. Slowly, though, he nodded; it'd be a hell of a lot easier in the long run just to do this now, and the marshal let out a heavy breath.

"Thank you, Dan. I'll ask the man I send up to your ranch to stay there a few days with your hand; if I don't, Hollander'll just set to saying you got him to do the deed for you. I'm going to have to ask you to step into that cell over there." Dan figured it was probably best to just keep quiet, so he just nodded and stepped into the small, weak looking cell the marshal had gestured towards. He tried not to think about it too much when the marshal closed the door behind him and locked it soundly; it wasn't a pleasant feeling, being stuck in such a small place; he'd never cared much for small spaces.

Still, the marshal tried to be kind; he talked a lot, enough so that Dan almost felt as if he were just stopping in for a visit instead of being held there, waiting for somebody to die, and he actually sent someone out to get Dan something decent to eat for dinner. It wasn't a pleasant way to spend an afternoon or an evening, to be sure, but Dan knew how much worse it could've been, and at least as long as the marshal was there, the uneasy feeling that had been following Dan around faded. That night, though, when the marshal left, apologizing to him one more time, it flooded back full force.

The whole building was pitch dark and creaky, and he was overly aware of how alone he was. His neck itched like someone's eyes were on him again, and he couldn't keep still. His leg ached, and he knew he needed to sit awhile, loosen up the tight muscle near his knee, but he couldn't even bring himself to sit long enough to do that no matter how silly he thought he was being.

That was when the door opened. His heart stopped, and he stepped back towards the wall. It was too dark to see who had come in exactly, but the shadow was obviously male, and he moved quick and easy, like a snake. Dan held his breath. The figure chuckled and spoke and had it been anyone else, Dan might not have been able to believe it.

"Fancy seeing you here, Dan," Wade said, his voice as deep and smooth as it had ever been, and for a few moments, Dan couldn't respond. He gathered himself quickly, though, and stepped up to the bars; he wasn't afraid of Ben Wade, and he refused to let the man start thinking that he was.

"Somehow I got a funny feeling you ought to be the one standing here, Wade." Wade laughed, moving up too close to the other side of the bars, hands curled around them like he'd pull the door down.

"Now Dan, I think after all this time you can at least call me by my Christian name, can't you? Especially if you're going to start saying such cruel things right as you're seeing me again after such a long time. After everything that happened, I figured we were finally friends." Dan clenched his jaw, arms crossed tightly across his chest. This close, he could see the mischief shining in Wade's bright blue eyes and the teasing smile tilting the corners of his lips, like he wasn't almost certainly the man who'd been doing the killings.

"I don't think so, Wade. Why've you been killing Hollander's boys?" He smiled a little wider, reaching through the bars with one hand to take Dan by the arm and pull him up just as close as he himself stood. Dan tried to jerk away, but Wade had always been bigger than he was, and the months he'd spent in recovery hadn't helped matters much.

"Now, if someone had asked you who was doing it five minutes ago, my name wouldn't have even crossed your mind. Why so sure it's me now, just because I'm in town? Can't I just come around and pay a visit to my good friend Dan Evans?"

"We ain't friends, Wade, and five minutes ago I thought you'd been hanged for all the other killing you've done." He tried to jerk away again, but Wade kept his grip solid even as his face softened.

"It wasn't ever the killing that Mr. Shiny Shoes wanted me to hang for, Dan, but the money I stole. Still, even if it had been for the killing, I wasn't particularly eager to find myself on the wrong end of the noose, especially not after I happened to hear about a certain rancher's miraculous recovery. Figured I ought to return the favor with a miracle of my own and broke out the next day. If it makes you feel better, I didn't kill anybody when I did that." Dan's arm was starting to ache about as much as his leg, so he forced himself to relax and Wade loosened his grip just a touch. Dan might've tried to get loose again, if he hadn't seen firsthand how quick Wade's hands could be.

"So you ain't denying that you're the one that's been murdering Hollander's men." Wade shook his head.

"Not much point in it, is there? Only man I could blame it on is already sitting in a jail cell for it, and I must admit to not being too happy about that. You'll be out come morning, but the principle of it still bothers me some." Dan froze—he must've already killed somebody else, then, or planned to do it at least.

"You gonna tell me why you been doing all this?" Wade laughed again, a little lower this time, and shook his head. Dan remembered suddenly how unpredictable he was, despite the visage of a gentleman he liked to wear. Unafraid or not, it wasn't wise to forget that Wade was dangerous, and the more Dan was around him, the easier that was to start ignoring.

"All this time and you still need to ask? And here I thought you were quicker than that." He leaned in closer, forehead pressed against the bars, and Dan could feel his breath against his face. His eyes looked a little brighter, a little wilder, a little like they'd looked that night after he killed Tucker "Proverbs 10:12," he murmured, then dropped Dan's arm and pulled away, turning back towards the door.

"Don't kill anyone tonight," Dan said, like he thought it'd count for anything, and he could imagine the grin in Wade's voice when he replied.

"No one else. I'll see you tomorrow, Dan; be safe tonight." And with that he was gone, just as smooth and silent as he'd come, and Dan was left alone again with the creaking of the building and his own thoughts. He was finally able to collapse on the bench, though, all the energy drained out of him in a rush. Ben Wade was alive, and he was back in Bisbee, and with nothing but a bible verse Dan didn't know, he was taking the lives of men he had no feud with. Dan didn't know how to feel, but he knew he was dead tired, so his body forced his mind into sleep. His last thought was of how crazy the marshal would think he was when he told him about this the next morning.


	2. Chapter 2

The marshal came in early the next morning, just after the sun started rising, lips tight and eyes down. He must've already heard about, or seen, whoever Wade had killed the night before. Dan sat up slowly, body throbbing all over where he'd lain on the hard bench all night, and nodded at him as he strode to the cell door and unlocked it.

"There was another killing last night. Even Hollander admitted it couldn't be you, or your hand, and he couldn't think of anyone else close enough to you to be willing to do it for you. You're free to go." Dan swallowed thickly, like there was cotton caught in his throat, and tried to think of the way to tell the marshal that Ben Wade had been there, had been the one killing all those men.

"Marshal, I think… I ain't sure if you're even gonna believe this, but Ben Wade came here last night. He's the one that's been doing this. I got no idea why, but I don't doubt it a bit either." He stared at me like I really had gone crazy.

"Ben Wade? Dan, Ben Wade's in Yuma, if he ain't been hung. You put him there yourself, you ought to know." Dan shook his head, running his hand roughly through his hair.

"Wouldn't be the first time he broke out of Yuma, marshal. I got no idea why he's doing it, but I swear he is." The marshal frowned, and Dan knew that the man didn't believe him, might've even thought he was crazy. He cleared his throat and forced a smile. "Of course, it was a long night. Suppose I could've been dreaming." With that, the marshal relaxed, nodding and offering a smile of his own.

"Maybe so, Dan. I'll keep an eye out, anyhow, and I reckon you ought to too. Maybe have your hand stay on overnight for a while; it'd likely do your peace of mind some good anyhow." Dan nodded despite knowing he wouldn't; his hand had more important things to do than hang about his ranch. He found his horse outside and set off back towards his ranch, and most people didn't bother greeting him on the way, maybe too worried Hollander's accusations really were true to risk it. It was a slow ride back, but he kept his head up the whole way, and he sure as hell paid attention. He found no sign of Wade.

* * *

The ranch was too silent. Dan realized that the moment he rode his horse back in. John wasn't anywhere outside working, which was strange enough in itself, but stranger was the fact that his cattle were nowhere to be found, and the chickens he'd bought, usually underfoot during the day, looked as if they'd never been let out of their pen. He stabled his horse and made his way towards the house, slow and steady, and carefully opened the door. He couldn't stop it creaking, though, and he winced, hoping he'd hear John call to greet him, but the house stayed silent and he knew if anyone was in there, they already knew he'd arrived. Just in case, he didn't close the door behind him.

He walked into his own house like an intruder, but as soon as he stepped into the kitchen, he knew he needn't have bothered. Ben Wade sat at his kitchen table, John tied to the chair on the other side with a gag stuffed in his mouth. Wade was chattering away like he was just there for a friendly visit, and when he turned to Dan, there was a wide, easy smile stretching across his lips.

"Ought to shut that door, Dan. It's a mite too hot out to leave it sitting open like that." John jerked in his bonds, staring up at Dan with wide eyes, grunting something through the gag that Dan couldn't understand.

"What the hell are you doing in my house, Wade?" he snarled, and Wade just laughed.

"I told you last night I'd be seeing you soon, didn't I? Spent the night in that fancy new barn of yours, until the lawman left of course, and then I came in here to have a chat with your ranch hand here. I must admit I don't like him much. You really ought to shut that door now, Dan." Barely thinking, Dan did, only realizing when he turned around how easily Wade could kill him with his back turned, but the outlaw didn't move from the table and he was smiling when Dan turned back around.

"John hasn't done a damn thing to you. Why don't you just go on and let him loose. Any feud you got here's with me." He tilted his head, looking for all the world like an innocent, and just kept on smiling. John fell still, staring between the two of them, obviously desperate to help, but Dan knew he wouldn't get lose unless Wade wanted him to.

"Feud? I didn't come here about any feud, Dan, and you really should know that by now. Of course, I don't guess you've had time to look at that bible verse yet, have you? And I don't figure you know it quite like I do. What about you, ranch hand? You ever read the bible? See, I came to visit Dan last night and told him I was here because of Proverbs 10:12. You know that one?" John didn't even try to speak. "Guess not. Why don't you pull out that bible over there and look at it, Dan." It wasn't a question, and Dan didn't argue. He saw the butt of the Hand of God sticking out of Wade's gun belt and wondered how in hell he'd managed to get it back.

He opened it up to Proverbs with a practiced kind of ease; Alice had always had a fondness for it. He remembered the shock and the almost-pleasure on her face when Wade had quoted a verse from it at dinner, remembered thinking how the devil could quote bible verses too. He'd never been able to remember many verses, himself; his mother had insisted he learn John 3:16 and he used to be able to say all the books in order but beyond that… he shook his head, flipping over to chapter ten. The verse Wade had quoted had been underlined, but Dan didn't know whether it was Wade himself that had done it or Alice or one of the boys. "Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins." Dan frowned, looking up to meet Wade's eyes again.

"I don't understand, Wade." The smile faded for the barest of seconds, before it lit his face again and he shook his head.

"Suppose it ain't the most popular verse, but I've always been fond of it. It means that no matter what you do in hatred, love takes away the sin. I've done what I have out of love, Dan; ain't no sin in that." John jerked in his bonds, hard enough this time to make the old chair creak. "And please, call me Ben." Dan sighed and took a seat at the table as well.

"Love for who, Ben?" he asked, half-scared of the answer. Ben chuckled.

"Where's Alice and the boys, Dan? She run off soon as you come home, or did she at least wait a couple weeks to make sure you weren't gonna die as soon as she walked out the door?"

"This about Alice? She might not be my wife anymore, but I sure as hell ain't gonna let you run off and give her trouble." Wade laughed again, harsher this time, leaning across the table so he was closer to Dan.

"Well now Dan, I don't think she'd see it as too much trouble. Near enough to pulled up her skirts for me the first time I was here; probably would've if I'd spent the night." Dan felt himself get ready to start yelling, but Wade spoke again before he could. "Anyone ever tell you your eyes change color, Dan? They turn a real pretty shade of green when somebody starts to really make you angry." He took a deep breath and tried to remember that Wade just wanted to rile him up, like he always did.

"Alice mentioned it once, before we got married. Called 'em hazel. I never cared much about it. Why are you really in town, Wade?"

"Knew a girl with eyes like that once. I could sit and watch her eyes change for hours. There was more blue in hers, so they looked about like the ocean when they changed. Yours've got more brown, look more like a forest. I'd be hard pressed to say which I like better."

"She from around here? Got some sort of beef with Hollander?" Dan already knew the answer, and Wade's eyes were starting to go narrow and wild and dangerous again.

"She's long dead, Dan. Quit acting like you're stupid. Ain't but one man in this town with a whole lot of cause to be angry at Hollander, and I'm sitting here looking at him." Dan flinched. All this time, and there were more deaths on his hands whether he'd pulled the trigger or not. John was jerking steadily at his ropes again and Dan just hoped Wade wouldn't get annoyed at the noise.

"You still got a problem understanding that disliking someone and killing them ain't the same thing." He shrugged.

"I notice you aren't trying to say they didn't deserve it."

"Might have. Don't mean I wanted it done, or wanted you to do it. Why the hell are you killing for me anyway, Wade? Don't you think there's been enough killing done on my account?"

"It's Ben, and I've already given you my reasons a dozen times. You know what I heard the last one I killed talk about doing, Dan? Said he was going to come up here and cut your throat while you slept, like an animal, and don't you doubt any one of those men I took care of would've done the same thing." Dan felt his hands shaking, so he hid them under the table. "And this fool here couldn't have done shit to help; he ain't nothing but big talk and big ego. Met a whole lot of men like him before, out in California. They tend to make it big or come someplace like this because they couldn't." Dan jerked to his feet, pacing a little in front of the table. Wade just kept on sitting still as death, eyes fixed on every move he made.

"You need to leave, Wade."

"I'll go in a few minutes. I just wanted to tell you one more thing: I'm going to kill Hollander himself tonight, because he will hurt you whether he's still got his dogs or not, and I think you and a whole lot of dead men know about what I think of people hurting you. I will come back here tomorrow morning, and you and I will be leaving. I wouldn't suggest either of you doing anything about this, unless you happen to want Bisbee to be needing another new marshal sometime soon."

"I'm not going anywhere with you, Wade." The outlaw shook his head, standing slow and easy, sinuous as ever as he moved up close to Dan, snatching him by the wrist and pulling them chest to chest before he could slip free. Dan felt his breath again, too hot and too close, and wanted to pull free, but he could feel the strength behind Wade's grip. His other hand curled around his hip, squeezing rhythmically, and even though Dan knew he was taller, he felt like Wade was staring down at him instead of up. He wanted to punch him and the urge almost overwhelmed the knowledge of how little good it'd do as Wade leaned up and pushed their lips together.

It was hard and rough and half-angry and not a damn thing like any kiss he'd shared with Alice. There were teeth behind this kiss, sharp teeth, and anger, and desperation, and a whole lot of things he didn't care to name. The thought that John was surely going to crack the chair into pieces barely penetrated the fog flooding Dan's mind, and he couldn't quite think to gather the strength to pull away before one of Ben's hands found its way to the back of his neck to hold him where he was. He only barely kept the presence of mind to keep his lips closed when he felt Ben's tongue tease the seam of them. Ben pressed a little harder for the barest of seconds, half-angry, before he pulled back. Dan didn't think to wipe his mouth even though he remembered later that he should have.

"A man takes what he wants, Dan," he whispered, lips right against Dan's ear, before he nipped the lobe and pulled back, leaving the house without a backwards glance. Dan felt like his world had stopped spinning, and it took him a while to gather himself enough to untie John. He wanted to scream. Ben Wade had turned his life upside down again, and Dan wasn't even sure if he was trying.


	3. Chapter 3

John was ready to run to the marshal as soon as Dan got him untied, but Dan could only shake his head. He didn't doubt for a moment that Wade had been telling the truth with every word he said; he wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone that got in the way of whatever it was he was planning, and the marshal would most definitely try to get in his way. Not to mention John himself; Wade had killed people he _liked_ without any kind of care, and Wade certainly didn't like John.

"Dan, we can't let him kill somebody else and we sure as hell can't let him run off with you."

"I know that. I don't want him killing you either, though. You can't be involved in this, any of it. Go on home, alright? I'll get it dealt with myself; if I don't, and he does take me off someplace, tell the marshal and have him put the word out." John clenched his jaw, looking down to one side and crossing his arms. Dan wasn't sure if he was going to listen or not, but he didn't think it'd be wise to hold his breath. He nodded, though, standing and leaving silently. Dan could only stand there for a few moments, not sure if he could move or breathe or even think, really. He nodded to himself, rubbing his head, before at last he grabbed his coat and set off to warn Hollander that Ben Wade was coming.

He didn't bother going into town; Hollander would've been terrified enough that there wasn't a whole lot of chance that he was leaving his ranch. He took the shortest way he knew, ducking under his fence and onto Hollander's land. For once, there were none of his employees lurking around; Dan guessed that even Hollander's money wasn't enough to keep them there with death on the line. If it was this easy for Dan to get up to the main house, he didn't even want to imagine how easy it was going to be for Wade, if Dan didn't do something.

It wasn't a pleasant thought, but he knew how little good it'd do to dwell on it. He gritted his teeth and knocked hard on the door; an older man Dan didn't recognize answered the door, watery blue eyes set deep and narrow into his face.

"Mr. Evans, I don't imagine Mr. Hollander would be too eager to see you just now." Dan shook his head, almost wanting to laugh.

"I ain't too eager to see him either, but I need to just the same. I know who's been killing his men, and the man doing it's gonna come for him tonight." He frowned, and Dan wasn't sure if the man really believed him or not, but he checked him over for weapons anyway, and gestured for him to come into the house.

The house didn't look much like a home to Dan; it was far too large, and decorated far too finely, as if no one ever walked the halls. Chances were few people did, Dan supposed, or at least he'd never known of Hollander getting a whole lot of visitors. The older man settled a palm atop the butt of his own gun as he walked, like he could whip around and shoot him if he tried anything, though Dan knew how easy it'd be to take the weapon, or even just knock the man out and run. He was lucky that Dan was here to help instead of ease Wade's way. Of course, even if he did want to do anything to the man, Dan wasn't sure he would; he led him up a flight of stairs and down a whole lot of hallways and Dan didn't think he could find his way back out again without help.

They finally stopped in front of a heavy, smooth wood door, and his guide stopped and knocked against it politely.

"Got a visitor for you, Mr. Hollander; might be able to help with all the mess that's been going on recently."

"Let him in," Hollander crowed, like he wasn't being targeted by a killer, like he was still the top dog in a big pile. Dan shook his head, but didn't argue or comment, instead just ducking under the man's arm when he opened the door. He didn't see the look on Hollander's face when he came in, but he imagined it wasn't pleased. "Evans, of course. Come to finish the job yourself?"

"I ain't the one causing this, Hollander. It's Ben Wade. He came by the jail last night and the ranch today, told me tonight he was coming after you." He laughed, but he obviously wasn't happy.

"That so, Evans? Ben Wade, of all the men! I assure you I didn't know I'd found a feud with such an illustrious man, and after he's already met the noose, too!" His grip around his pen was white-knuckled, and his jaw was tight. He looked thinner than he had the last time Dan saw him, too, the whites of his eyes streaked in red and gone half-wild. There wasn't even any light streaming into the room, the curtains drawn and the shutters closed; Dan wondered why he was even holding the pen when he almost certainly couldn't even see to write.

"You ain't got a feud with him, no, but you do have a feud with me, and right now I think that's enough for him. He thinks he's doing me a favor, Hollander." He laughed again, louder now, and near enough to crazy.

"Isn't he? I've always been a thorn in your side, haven't I, Evans? Don't lie now!"

"You're an asshole. I still don't wish death on you." The hand around his pen started shaking, and Dan expected the other, hidden under the desk, probably was as well. Hollander really wasn't looking well; Dan doubted that he'd have offered to get Wade on that train in the first place if this had been the man he was facing down over his land. This man wasn't much more than a shadow of Hollander, really, too frightened to do much of anything at all.

"That so? Even if it is, it doesn't mean much."

"It's enough. I don't think Wade'll shoot me to get at you." He nearly howled, head dropping on his desk hard enough to hurt.

"Why's this happening now, Evans? What the fuck does Wade want to do you a favor for?" That was the question, wasn't it? Dan still wasn't precisely sure. He knew what Wade had been implying, of course, that he'd somehow managed to fall in love with him, but he didn't know what the situation really was because that certainly couldn't have been true. After all, he'd known Ben Wade for scarcely more than a couple of days, and that certainly wasn't long enough to fall so deeply in love with someone that you were willing to kill for them, especially not as many times as Wade seemed to want Dan to think he had. They had bonded some, though, he couldn't deny that, though it hadn't been the sort of bonding that led to friendships, much less any more than that. He'd tried to kill him, after all; Dan still remembered the pain from the chain links digging into his throat, the desperation of not being able to breathe.

"I'm not certain. He's got a strange idea of what makes two people friends." That, he supposed, was the best way to explain it. Hollander breathed too deep, and let out all the air in one heavy puff, like he was dying.

"I don't have a lot of options anymore," Hollander murmured. "Maybe I never did. You save my life, Dan Evans, and I'll damn sure be your friend." Dan almost wanted to laugh himself; of all the ways he'd imagined his feud with Hollander ending, he'd never even thought to consider something like this. Still, just then wasn't the time to complain, or even to be shocked, really, so he only nodded and hoped that he could convince Wade to stop whatever quest he thought he was on.

"I'll do what I can." Hollander obviously understood that he couldn't really promise any better, so he raised his head and nodded silently. He swallowed, then breathed in deep.

"That's better than what I had five minutes ago. You just tell me if you want anything and I'll have someone bring it up for you, alright?" Dan only nodded, feeling more than a little like a fool. Hollander was not his friend, he knew that, and chances were he never really would be. He was an asshole, an asshole who'd damn near killed his family more than once, an asshole who cared about little more than money. Dan still didn't want Wade to kill him, even though he half-wished he could. Hell, he half-wished he could have wanted Wade to kill all of Hollander's men, too, and could have wanted to leave with him come the next morning. He sighed; lingering on thoughts like that wouldn't make anything better.

Wade had obviously made a life out of confusing him, out of making things difficult, and Dan didn't know how in hell to avoid that or stop it or change it. Late at night, when he thought about Wade without wanting to think about Wade, he wasn't ever really sure he wanted to. The mere thought of it made him flinch; Hollander didn't notice. He stared at the doorway, not feeling able to do much else. He didn't know if his chest or his head was aching more by the time Wade actually sauntered in, Hand of God held loose and easy in one hand, not bothering to hide how well he handled it.

"Well hello, Dan. Funny seeing you here," he said, and Hollander reeled back like he'd already gotten shot.

"Ain't that funny. Didn't see too many other ways to stop you doing this. You kill that man who answers the door?"

"No, Dan, I didn't. Just knocked him out. Seemed like he was harmless enough. You want me to kill him too?"

"I don't want you killing nobody, Wade." He smiled, and Hollander looked like he was trying to stand. Dan shook his head and shifted in front of the desk so his body blocked most of Hollander's. Wade didn't look troubled in the slightest; Dan half expected he was skilled enough that he still had a shot at Hollander.

"Well, now, I'm not sure I can accommodate that, Dan. I'm fond of you, you know, and this man has caused you no end of trouble, hasn't he? It'd just be a whole lot easier for the both of us if I shot him now and you and me left. You ever been to Mexico, Dan?" Dan clenched his jaw and stood up a little taller, tall as he could, and tried to resist looking back to see if he'd blocked Hollander's whole body or not.

"You damn well know I haven't, Wade. Why don't you put down that gun and you can tell me about it." Wade laughed, loud and long and deep. He laughed like an innocent man, like a guiltless one, like one without regret. He laughed like Dan had never been able to laugh and Dan almost reached for his own gun before he remembered how poorly that would almost certainly end for him.

"I think we can talk alright if I hold onto this. I don't fancy getting shot, you know. Have been once or twice, and given what happened in Contention, I think you know it ain't pleasant. Of course, if somebody's got to shoot me, I guess I'd prefer it be you. Why won't you let me kill him, Dan, honestly? Just look at everything he's done to you and to a hell of a lot of other people in this town and tell me he deserves to live." Part of Dan wanted to turn around and shoot Hollander himself, he could admit that. Part of him had wanted that for a long, long time. Dan had had a lot of practice ignoring that part of himself.

"It ain't my place or yours to decide that. Just tell me how I can get you to walk out of here with Hollander still breathing, Wade." The man sighed, sliding Hand of God back into its holster. The motion was almost quicker than Dan could follow, and damn, but he'd forgotten just exactly how fast Wade was.

"That's easy enough. You walk out with me, no fighting. We travel together a while, down to Mexico. I ain't wanted there, you know, make it a point not to be. I know about a pretty little place where the water runs free and the dirt's good for growing and the sky goes on forever. I think you'd like it. Much as you like anywhere, anyhow, stubborn bastard." The last part was said with a quick grin, mischievous spark in his eye as if he hadn't just asked Dan to drop everything he'd built here and run off with a man he was supposed to hate to save a man he'd hated for years.

His hands were shaking and he slammed a fist down on Hollander's desk in a rare display of anger because his hands hadn't shook since he was a boy and Wade was good at making him feel like he didn't have a damn bit of power even without a gun pointed on him. He took another deep breath and shut his eyes for the barest of seconds; he did have power here, he needed to remember that. Wade had come back because of him, impossible as that was to believe. Wade wanted him, and wanted him as more than the start of a new gang, if what had happened in his house meant anything at all.

"And what if I don't like it, Wade?"

"Please, it's Ben. I'm getting sick of telling you that, you know. Anyhow, you just give me a week down there with me. One week and I can guarantee you ain't gonna want to come back." He stepped forward, snake charmer grin curling his lips, and settled the flat of his hand against Dan's chest, right over his heart. Dan could feel his breath again and that moment in his house flashed across his mind over and over again, brighter than daylight. He had power here, he knew that, and Wade had given him more.

"And if that week passes and I want to come back?"

"Then you come back. Hell, I'll bring you back myself, and be on my way. I won't trouble you again." One more deep breath. This was the best way, he just had to remember that. This was the best way, and probably the only way, to get out of this without somebody else dying because of him. Ben Wade wasn't a sane man, not by a long shot, but Dan didn't know him to lie directly.

"Alright, Ben. You ready to go now?" His face lit up like heaven's gates, and he pressed closer, free hand looping easily around Dan's waist without him ever really noticing. Dan felt smaller again, face burning hot, and Wade's eyes went dark and hooded and he didn't think anyone had ever looked at him that way before. He kissed him suddenly, but lightly this time and for hardly longer than a breath before he was pulling back, hand curling around Dan's.

"Been ready a long time, Dan. Grab your gun, won't you? Might be handy to have along, and I don't want Mr. Hollander getting any funny ideas when I turn around. Ah, and I'd suggest that none of this finds its way to the Marshall either. I wouldn't mind killing you, but so long as things stay as they are, I don't have much need to. You ought to thank Dan for your life real kindly." Hollander didn't say anything. Dan suspected he was too petrified to try. At least he was alive, though, and as Dan grabbed his gun and left with Wade, he hoped that neither he nor John would do something foolish and force that to change.


	4. Chapter 4

They got out of town quicker than Dan thought was possible; Wade followed him back to his ranch and let him stay just long enough to pack a small bag and get his horse, then rode the animal with him to another small, abandoned ranch on the outskirts of Bisbee where Wade had hidden his own black mare. He didn't talk much until they got out of town, which Dan thought was strange until he thought about how nervous Wade had to be. He was, after all, taking a man against his will, leaving a town where he knew he was wanted after killing more than a few men there. The silence was more than understandable, really, if nothing less than unnerving coming from a man like Wade. After all, he reasoned, at least if Wade was talking to somebody he thought they were at least interesting enough to keep alive for a few moments. It was usually when he went quiet that people started dying.

Honestly he could admit that he started feeling less antsy when they were about ten miles outside of town and Wade turned towards him with that same wild, wide grin Dan had grown to expect from him.

"So, Dan, where'd you like to go first. We got the whole damn world in front of us now." Dan raised an eyebrow, leaning down a little against his horse's neck to relieve some of the ache he'd started feeling whenever he rode a while after Contention.

"What happened to Mexico?" Wade chuckled, leaning backwards instead of forwards to stare up at the sky like God himself was reaching down a hand.

"I admit I like the idea of it, but I ain't unwilling to change my mind if you got somewhere you're itching to see." He laughed instead of chuckling then, shaking his head and turning back to Dan instead of the sky. "Been a long time since I rode out with someone I like."

"We ain't friends, Wade. You know damn well why I'm out here with you."

"You can tell yourself whatever you like, Dan," he said, still smiling. "Mexico it is, I guess. Probably best that way; better they can't get you back if they come after you anyhow." Dan clenched his jaw, sitting up again; with Wade looking at him so intently, he felt uncomfortable being more exposed than he needed to be. "I know that look, Dan. If I wanted to shoot you, I think I had a damn sight more better chances."

"You tried to kill me before, Wade. You'll forgive me if I'm having trouble figuring all this out."

"I never tried to kill you. Never could've brought myself to do it."

"Funny the mistakes a man can make when he's got an outlaw over him, choking him with a damn handcuff chain."

"I was trying to knock you out, Dan. There's better ways to kill a man when you're chained up like that; hell, you saw me do it more than once." Dan just shook his head, and Wade sighed. "I just needed to get away from you and I needed you to look like you were dead, or at least not any kind of threat. I knew Charlie wanted you dead by then; hell, I knew Charlie wanted you dead the very moment he saw me look at your eyes. That was all I could think of to keep you alive through that mess and then you just had to keep on trying to talk. You know that's when I really fell in love with you?" He said it so casually that Dan almost didn't hear him, and when he finally did, he jolted so hard that he almost startled his horse.

"You don't love me, Wade." Dan didn't look at him, but when he spoke he could still hear the laughter in his voice.

"Now Dan, I don't think it's too good of you to tell me who I do and don't love, do you? Besides, it's the truth. I always liked you, but I fell in love with you right there. Would've done anything you asked me then; still would." Dan didn't respond, and Wade didn't seem to be looking for any sort of answer. They rode in a silence Dan didn't want to admit was comfortable for hours, until the sun started to set and Wade pulled his horse to a stop. "We're far enough out that I don't think anyone's going to catch up. We ought to make camp for the night here."

Dan fed and watered the horses while Wade set up a fire and laid out two old, thick blankets for them to sleep on. It all felt easier, more practiced, than it should have, and Dan thought, for a moment, about just grabbing his horse and taking off right then. Wade was staring at him like he knew, though, and in the end Dan just sat down by the fire; Wade knew this area a whole hell of a lot better than he did, and he could admit that he honestly wasn't certain he could even get back to Bisbee from here. Even if he could, it wouldn't do shit to stop Wade from coming back too and at least managing to kill a few people before someone brought him down.

"Why kill your whole gang? I understand the one that shot me, but why the others?" Wade shrugged.

"They respected Charlie about as much as they respected me. Maybe more by then. They'd have turned on me just as soon as they could've for killing Charlie, especially for the reason I did. Wild dogs, the whole pack of 'em. You hungry?" Dan nodded, and Wade drew a small thing of jerky from his bag, along with a tin of hard tack. It wasn't particularly appetizing, but Dan didn't complain; hell, it was better than a good portion of what he'd had to eat in his life. "Couldn't find anything better than this in the town I stopped in a while back for supplies. They sure as hell got better food down in Mexico, I'll tell you that."

"Why'd Charlie want me dead so bad anyhow? Seemed like he was more loyal to you than any of 'em." Wade nodded, tearing off a piece of the jerky for himself.

"Like I said, he wanted you dead as soon as he saw me looking at you. Not as bad then; then he just knew that I liked eyes like yours. Probably would've just shot you once through the head if that's all it'd been. He saw I liked you in Contention, though, and Charlie… thing about Charlie was, he was a damn good shot and he was smart, but he was crazy as all hell. He loved me, too; hated anybody he thought I liked better than I liked him." Dan didn't really know what to say to that, so again he just watched the way the fire moved under the bright moonlight. He felt Wade's eyes on him for what seemed like centuries before the man reached out for him, one hand curling around his jaw to make him turn.

"What the hell are you doing now?" Wade laughed, low and rumbling and dangerous.

"Making you look at me. I'm sorry Charlie shot you; you heard me tell him to stop. You're the one that chose to bring me to that train though, Dan. I gave you every chance to turn the hell around and go home." Dan clenched his teeth, wishing he could think of something to say, but he'd never been much for arguments or words and Wade could spin a tale better than any devil.

"I couldn't go home and you know it." He just laughed, callused thumb brushing lightly against his cheek.

"I do. I must admit I've started to get attached to your stubbornness." He moved forward, then, slow, and Dan knew what he was doing but he was still half a second too late to react. Lips pressed against his again, solid hand at his jaw keeping him close, and Dan couldn't move. Alice really never had kissed him like this, no one had kissed him like this, so certain, like Dan really was all he'd ever wanted. Ben's tongue ran across the seam of his lips again, hand squeezing his jaw lightly, and Dan didn't try to pull back even though his thoughts were screaming. Instead he opened his mouth and felt Ben groan, wrap his other arm around his waist and jerk him close. He felt his own heart pounding in his chest, felt a flush rising across his cheeks, and finally managed to raise his arms and push Wade back.

"Keep off me, Wade," he bit, and Wade laughed again. His lips were red and wet and his eyes were hooded, pupils blown so wide that Dan could barely make out the ring of blue.

"I suppose I should say sometimes I like your stubbornness. Other times it makes me mad as hell."

"I ain't stubborn. You're a man, Wade, and besides that, we ain't even friends. You're an outlaw and I'm a rancher who tried to bring you in. That's how it ought to stay."

"You just keep on thinking that, Dan. It's going to be fun getting you to be honest." He said it with a flash of teeth and Dan had to stop himself from actually trying to hit him.

"I am being honest. Don't touch me."

"Might want to check your pants, Dan. We'll ride out when the sun rises; it'll be a good bit before we get where we're going." Wade moved away, then, stretching out across one of the blankets and rolling to face the horses instead of Dan. Barely more than a second later, he realized what Wade had meant; he'd gotten hard from the kiss. He swallowed harshly, adjusting himself and cursing every moment he'd spent letting Wade get under his skin. Hours passed before he was able to force himself to fall asleep, and even then he cursed Wade because the man had seemed to be sleeping not five minutes after he laid down. There wasn't another man anywhere in the world that could manage to bother him quite as much as Ben Wade.

* * *

Wade didn't try to touch him again all the way down to Mexico, and Dan wasn't quite sure what to make of it. They didn't talk much, really, and when they did Dan couldn't think of much to call it but amicable. Wade mostly told him stories about the places he'd seen and the things he'd done, and Dan listened with more interest than he should've, but if there was one thing about Wade to admire, it was that he seemed to have been everywhere and seen everything at least once. Most everything he said sounded like it came out of one of the dime novels Will had liked, but somehow he said it all in a way that made it seem real as anything.

Dan didn't have any stories to really compare and even if he had, he couldn't tell them like Wade could, but the man still acted like he hung on every word Dan said, like some old story about him nearly drowning in the pond by his mother's house held an ounce of interest to him. Dan was loathe to call it pleasant, but he couldn't think of any other word to describe it. The worst part was, he couldn't remember a single time he'd liked talking to someone as much as he liked talking to Wade.

The days passed by quickly and easily, and he hardly believed it when Wade told him that they were riding into the tiny Mexican town he'd wanted to bring them to. The sky was a bright, vibrant shade of blue and a wide, slow river ran along one edge of the place. He heard voices speaking in a language he didn't know, but he could hear the excitement as they spoke, and Wade was smiling like he'd been handed the world on a platter.

"You like it, don't you?" he asked, and Dan forced himself to frown because he hadn't realized he'd been smiling.

"Don't seem bad. Surprised they let a man like you into a place like this." He chuckled, shaking his head as they rode in closer.

"I told you, I make it a point not to be wanted here. Pretty little town like this, it's a nice place to go to when you got more money than you can spend and need a safe place to spend a while. Don't think I'd mind settling down here too bad. Could even teach you the language," he said, and Dan shook his head.

"I ain't staying here. You wanted a week, and that's what I'll give you, then I'm heading back to my ranch." Wade hummed.

"You just keep on saying that, Dan, but I know better. You like me a hell of a lot more than you want to." It was the first time since that first night that Wade had brought up anything related to either of their feelings, and Dan flinched away from the words. They made him remember, at least, why he was out here to begin with.

"Where are we staying?" Dan asked, trying to avoid speaking on it anymore and hoping against hope that he could find somewhere to spend the week away from Wade.

"I know a nice woman who rents me an extra room in her house. Best cook I ever met." Dan swallowed, tilting his head back to stare up at the endless blue sky instead of having to look at Wade. He was already wishing this week was over and it'd hardly even started. Hopefully he could find himself a different place to stay the next day because he didn't think he'd be able to stand sharing a room with Wade. He closed his eyes and sighed, watching the house Wade was leading them towards grow ever closer; honestly, he didn't know if he'd be able to stand doing anything with Wade. To say the least, it'd be a long damn week.


End file.
